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Actual for You - Who is Responsible?
Factors That Affect a Good Franchise Site Location - I thought we were on the same page. I didn't realize until too late how far apart we were;Choosing the best franchise is just half the equation. Without the right location for it, you may find it hard to recoup your investment. So how do you choose the right location for your franchise?Perhaps the first thing you should consider is if there are enough people in your locality to ensure that sufficient volume will be consumed. If not, does your area have any plans for expansion? The more you cater to a small segment or niche in the market, the bigger the population must be. Moreover, the product volume consumed monthly must not only be sufficient to cover your monthly expenses but must also bring you a profit.You should also think about where the people who can afford your product or services live. Your city may have the perfect solution for these people with the buying power but if your product or service is inaccessible to them, how will you profit? Rule of thumb in this case is to place your business along the routes or place your customers generally go to or through.Of course, affluent people will not take a second look at your store if it is located in a seedy neighborhood. In fact, they might never see your store at all. So take the time to match the neighborhood or the place to your target market’s preferences.You will also need to consider the businesses that may avail of your products and services in your area. Of course, you will want to locate your franchise as close to them as possible. If your - what's his/her problem? - obviously not a decision-maker; not smart enough; - I was speaking perfectly plain English. The guy's a jerk. Let's assume that everyone is doing the best they can do. Let's also assume that most people are nice, and willing to be helpful. So what happens that makes them jerks? What's happening is that the other person is hearing us through their unique, very idiosyncratic beliefs systems and filters. Studies have shown that we only listen for data that will concur with what we already believe or are comfortable with. When we get new data, it's up for grabs as to how we accept it. According to accepted learning theories (G.M. Edelman and G Lowenstein as per discussion in Driven: How Human Nature Shapes our Choices by Paul Lawrence and Nitin Nohria) if there is a small gap between what the listener is hearing that is familiar and what is divergent, a perceived large gap between the two, or non-perceived large gap, there will be no response or a fear-based response to the talker. It's only when there is a perceived medium gap will any action be taken - and then the listener will attempt to close the gap by following his/her own FTC Proposes New Business Opportunities Rule While writing an article recently on effective ways to bridge the IT/Management communication gap, I realized that few of us are eager to take responsibility in our business lives to make something different happen and be part of the solution.The FTC has been busy. They've been working a lot of hours busting down the doors of the scammers taking away our hard earned dollars. While part of me says, "Good job!", there's another part of me that says, "Work smarter, not harder, those are MY tax dollars you're spending!"Our Friends at the Federal Trade Commission have been listening. They've been doing some homework. I think they've been reading my blog. I wouldn't be surprised if they subsribe to my MLMEruption.com Newsletter, either.So what's going on?The Federal Trade Commission, the FTC, has announced that it's outlining new laws to protect consumers from Get Rich Quick and Work From Home opportunities, and some new laws to prevent people from creating these same opportunities. Of course, the law only targets those companies who you wouldn't want to be in business with anyhow. Those companies created around breakage. Those companies who make more money when you don't hit your goals and when you leave them. For real online businesses, those who I would personally do business with, there is a downsizing of the compliance costs.Most online businesses built on breakage require an initial investment below $500. $499, in some cases, but it's always below $500. Why? Because the current FTC rule applies to business that charge $500 or more for an initial investment. The new law simply eliminates that hard deck figure. It would mean ALL start up business would be subject t Indeed, we have a culture based on blaming: sellers would obviously close more sales if it weren't for the buyer; decisions could easily get made in meetings if people could make up their minds; systems would get designed correctly if the users could get it right the first time; teammates would get along if it weren't for those in the team that were difficult, etc. etc. In other words, it's HIS/HER fault. The problem is that unless each of us is willing and able to take the responsibility to create a win-win interaction, nothing gets fixed. While I can't offer a formula to teach folks how to eagerly seek out this level of responsibility, I can offer a communication formula, as embedded in The Buying Facilitation Method®. There is a way to not only take responsibility for every communication, but to ensure that your communication partners are supporting your effort effectively. Let's look at the seller/buyer system as a model for responsible communication. Buying Facilitation® offers sellers (or changERs - anyone wishing to create change of any kind) a way to take responsibility for creating the parameters of a buyer's (or changEEs) decision; it systematically leads buyers through all of the sometimes hidden, often idiosyncratic issues that need to be taken into account before a decision to do something different can get made. Yet when buyers turn the tables and want something from sellers, and try to get a seller's behavior to meet their needs, the buyer is the person responsible - hence, the buyer becomes the 'seller' of change and is therefore the one needing to 'own' the responsibility for creating an avenue to get their needs met. In other words, whoever wants something from the interaction is the seller. Optimally, both parties understand the need to move the mantle of 'seller' and 'buyer' back and forth between communication partners. WHOSE RESPONSIBILITY IS IT ANYWAY? On a business trip some years ago, my business partner had to leave unexpectedly. That meant I had to rent a car to get to the airport. Now, I'm on the road all the time; I don't always really know what city I'm in, and certainly don't remember highways. I went to the nearest car rental company and began filling out the paperwork to get my car. As the papers were being completed, I asked the clerk how to get to the airport. Without looking up he mumbled: "Go outside, get onto 17, go 'til you get to 35 and you'll see signs for the airport." "Do I take a right or left on 17? Do I go north or south on 35?" "Go outside, get onto 17, go 'til you get to 35 and you'll see signs for the airport." "I don't think you heard me, so let me say it again. DO I TAKE A RIGHT or a LEFT on 17?????" "Look lady, just do as I say: Go outside, get onto 17, go 'til you get to 35 and you'll see signs for the airport." By this time I was furious. My head was screaming at me: What the Hell is His Problem? I'm THE CUSTOMER here! Doesn't that idiot KNOW I'm THE CUSTOMER and I SHOULD GET WHAT I WANT? WHY ISN'T HE RESPONDING PROPERLY???" Just as I was about to scream at him, which he was expecting and glaring right back at me, I moved into my coach/witness self-talk: Yo, Sharon Drew. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO GET TO THE AIRPORT. NOT HIM. YOU ARE THE SELLER HERE!!!!!!!! BE NICE OR YOU'LL BE IN THIS DAMN TOWN FOREVER. I smiled at the red-faced clerk and said, sweetly, "See, I've got a problem. I have a terrible time with directions and get lost frequently. Would you mind making a map to get me to the airport? That would be so much easier than verbal directions. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks." "No problem." And it was done. I had a belief that just because I was the 'customer' that I was the one who should get what I wanted. But in this case I had to become the 'seller' and sell the clerk the idea of giving me what I needed in the way I needed it, separate from his accustomed response. He became my buyer. IT'S NOT ABOUT RIGHT - IT'S ABOUT RELATIONSHIP We all face this problem daily: we believe we're right, that we need something done OUR way, that the other person is beholden to us to give us what we want OUR way, and that we're being perfectly reasonable and understandable, in word choice, request, or outcome. Indeed, we might even BE right. But that's not the point: we're seeking a communication, not a monologue. We forget that we are operating out of our own set of beliefs and values and that others have separate and different beliefs and values. Stir into the mix our often disparate communication capabilities, skill sets, goals, job descriptions - and we're off and running.... in different directions. Then we can say things like: - it wasn't my fault; I was clear; - he seemed to understand me when I was speaking with him; - when I left, we had agreed. I don't know what happened; - I thought we were on the same page. I didn't realize until too late how far apart we were; - what's his/her problem? - obviously not a decision-maker; not smart enough; - I was speaking perfectly plain English. The guy's a jerk. Let's assume that everyone is doing the best they can do. Let's also assume that most people are nice, and willing to be helpful. So what happens that makes them jerks? What's happening is that the other person is hearing us through their unique, very idiosyncratic beliefs systems and filters. Studies have shown that we only listen for data that will concur with what we already believe or are comfortable with. When we get new data, it's up for grabs as to how we accept it. According to accepted learning theories (G.M. Edelman and G Lowenstein as per discussion in Driven: How Human Nature Shapes our Choices by Paul Lawrence and Nitin Nohria) if there is a small gap between what the listener is hearing that is familiar and what is divergent, a perceived large gap between the two, or non-perceived large gap, there will be no response or a fear-based response to the talker. It's only when there is a perceived medium gap will any action be taken - and then the listener will attempt to close the gap by following his/her own Knowledge Management Products ing to create change of any kind) a way to take responsibility for creating the parameters of a buyer's (or changEEs) decision; it systematically leads buyers through all of the sometimes hidden, often idiosyncratic issues that need to be taken into account before a decision to do something different can get made.Knowledge management products help organizations build and maintain the best practices in knowledge management. Some of the most popular products are described below.Enterprise Content & CollaborationProducts under this category integrate digital asset management, content aggregation, and distribution. They allow users to maintain and access critical digital assets in a proper workflow and under appropriate heads, making it easier for other users to search. Some companies offer systems with document management, business process automation, and portal content access. Some advanced products available on the market integrate many pieces of records management, Web publishing, imaging, workflow, knowledge management, and collaboration software. The collaboration module allows people within and outside an organization to participate in sharing documents and tasks as well as communicating through discussion threads.Business Process Management (BPM)Business process management or BPM is software that sends a "guide" to the relevant back-office systems when a problem or exception occurs in order to tackle the ongoing challenge. This guide automatically collects the background data, presents it to an employee and guides him through the process of remedying the situation.The BPM software also monitors processes for events, prompts human or automated action to respond to those events, and measures process performance and business im Yet when buyers turn the tables and want something from sellers, and try to get a seller's behavior to meet their needs, the buyer is the person responsible - hence, the buyer becomes the 'seller' of change and is therefore the one needing to 'own' the responsibility for creating an avenue to get their needs met. In other words, whoever wants something from the interaction is the seller. Optimally, both parties understand the need to move the mantle of 'seller' and 'buyer' back and forth between communication partners. WHOSE RESPONSIBILITY IS IT ANYWAY? On a business trip some years ago, my business partner had to leave unexpectedly. That meant I had to rent a car to get to the airport. Now, I'm on the road all the time; I don't always really know what city I'm in, and certainly don't remember highways. I went to the nearest car rental company and began filling out the paperwork to get my car. As the papers were being completed, I asked the clerk how to get to the airport. Without looking up he mumbled: "Go outside, get onto 17, go 'til you get to 35 and you'll see signs for the airport." "Do I take a right or left on 17? Do I go north or south on 35?" "Go outside, get onto 17, go 'til you get to 35 and you'll see signs for the airport." "I don't think you heard me, so let me say it again. DO I TAKE A RIGHT or a LEFT on 17?????" "Look lady, just do as I say: Go outside, get onto 17, go 'til you get to 35 and you'll see signs for the airport." By this time I was furious. My head was screaming at me: What the Hell is His Problem? I'm THE CUSTOMER here! Doesn't that idiot KNOW I'm THE CUSTOMER and I SHOULD GET WHAT I WANT? WHY ISN'T HE RESPONDING PROPERLY???" Just as I was about to scream at him, which he was expecting and glaring right back at me, I moved into my coach/witness self-talk: Yo, Sharon Drew. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO GET TO THE AIRPORT. NOT HIM. YOU ARE THE SELLER HERE!!!!!!!! BE NICE OR YOU'LL BE IN THIS DAMN TOWN FOREVER. I smiled at the red-faced clerk and said, sweetly, "See, I've got a problem. I have a terrible time with directions and get lost frequently. Would you mind making a map to get me to the airport? That would be so much easier than verbal directions. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks." "No problem." And it was done. I had a belief that just because I was the 'customer' that I was the one who should get what I wanted. But in this case I had to become the 'seller' and sell the clerk the idea of giving me what I needed in the way I needed it, separate from his accustomed response. He became my buyer. IT'S NOT ABOUT RIGHT - IT'S ABOUT RELATIONSHIP We all face this problem daily: we believe we're right, that we need something done OUR way, that the other person is beholden to us to give us what we want OUR way, and that we're being perfectly reasonable and understandable, in word choice, request, or outcome. Indeed, we might even BE right. But that's not the point: we're seeking a communication, not a monologue. We forget that we are operating out of our own set of beliefs and values and that others have separate and different beliefs and values. Stir into the mix our often disparate communication capabilities, skill sets, goals, job descriptions - and we're off and running.... in different directions. Then we can say things like: - it wasn't my fault; I was clear; - he seemed to understand me when I was speaking with him; - when I left, we had agreed. I don't know what happened; - I thought we were on the same page. I didn't realize until too late how far apart we were; - what's his/her problem? - obviously not a decision-maker; not smart enough; - I was speaking perfectly plain English. The guy's a jerk. Let's assume that everyone is doing the best they can do. Let's also assume that most people are nice, and willing to be helpful. So what happens that makes them jerks? What's happening is that the other person is hearing us through their unique, very idiosyncratic beliefs systems and filters. Studies have shown that we only listen for data that will concur with what we already believe or are comfortable with. When we get new data, it's up for grabs as to how we accept it. According to accepted learning theories (G.M. Edelman and G Lowenstein as per discussion in Driven: How Human Nature Shapes our Choices by Paul Lawrence and Nitin Nohria) if there is a small gap between what the listener is hearing that is familiar and what is divergent, a perceived large gap between the two, or non-perceived large gap, there will be no response or a fear-based response to the talker. It's only when there is a perceived medium gap will any action be taken - and then the listener will attempt to close the gap by following his/her own I Would Like to Start a Truck Wash Business k how to get to the airport. Without looking up he mumbled:If you are in the trucking industry or a truck driver you may want to consider starting a truck wash business. Starting a truck wash business is not easy and getting the permits will be difficult. If you live in an area where there is a drought consideration or a shortage of water it may become more difficult than you think to start a truck wash that you have been dreaming of.However there is equipment that you can purchase, which will help you reclaim most of the water that you use so that you can use it again and in doing so you will be able to prove that you can save water and this may help you get the permits for sewer and water hookups that you need from the planning commission when you give them the plans to start your truck wash.Many truck wash equipment manufacturers have environmental impact reports pre-made and areas to fill in the rest of the local data and also plans and drawings of buildings that will help you house the equipment if you buy from them. So, this makes things much easier with building a truck wash if you can use your equipment vendor as a helper of sorts.Getting an SBA loan to start a truck wash is not very difficult and it helps if you are a minority. You may also wish to find local investors who were either in the truck industry or believe that truck washing could be good business. Additionally local banks may be willing to fund a truck wash business because it is not a higher risk category. Conside "Go outside, get onto 17, go 'til you get to 35 and you'll see signs for the airport." "Do I take a right or left on 17? Do I go north or south on 35?" "Go outside, get onto 17, go 'til you get to 35 and you'll see signs for the airport." "I don't think you heard me, so let me say it again. DO I TAKE A RIGHT or a LEFT on 17?????" "Look lady, just do as I say: Go outside, get onto 17, go 'til you get to 35 and you'll see signs for the airport." By this time I was furious. My head was screaming at me: What the Hell is His Problem? I'm THE CUSTOMER here! Doesn't that idiot KNOW I'm THE CUSTOMER and I SHOULD GET WHAT I WANT? WHY ISN'T HE RESPONDING PROPERLY???" Just as I was about to scream at him, which he was expecting and glaring right back at me, I moved into my coach/witness self-talk: Yo, Sharon Drew. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO GET TO THE AIRPORT. NOT HIM. YOU ARE THE SELLER HERE!!!!!!!! BE NICE OR YOU'LL BE IN THIS DAMN TOWN FOREVER. I smiled at the red-faced clerk and said, sweetly, "See, I've got a problem. I have a terrible time with directions and get lost frequently. Would you mind making a map to get me to the airport? That would be so much easier than verbal directions. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks." "No problem." And it was done. I had a belief that just because I was the 'customer' that I was the one who should get what I wanted. But in this case I had to become the 'seller' and sell the clerk the idea of giving me what I needed in the way I needed it, separate from his accustomed response. He became my buyer. IT'S NOT ABOUT RIGHT - IT'S ABOUT RELATIONSHIP We all face this problem daily: we believe we're right, that we need something done OUR way, that the other person is beholden to us to give us what we want OUR way, and that we're being perfectly reasonable and understandable, in word choice, request, or outcome. Indeed, we might even BE right. But that's not the point: we're seeking a communication, not a monologue. We forget that we are operating out of our own set of beliefs and values and that others have separate and different beliefs and values. Stir into the mix our often disparate communication capabilities, skill sets, goals, job descriptions - and we're off and running.... in different directions. Then we can say things like: - it wasn't my fault; I was clear; - he seemed to understand me when I was speaking with him; - when I left, we had agreed. I don't know what happened; - I thought we were on the same page. I didn't realize until too late how far apart we were; - what's his/her problem? - obviously not a decision-maker; not smart enough; - I was speaking perfectly plain English. The guy's a jerk. Let's assume that everyone is doing the best they can do. Let's also assume that most people are nice, and willing to be helpful. So what happens that makes them jerks? What's happening is that the other person is hearing us through their unique, very idiosyncratic beliefs systems and filters. Studies have shown that we only listen for data that will concur with what we already believe or are comfortable with. When we get new data, it's up for grabs as to how we accept it. According to accepted learning theories (G.M. Edelman and G Lowenstein as per discussion in Driven: How Human Nature Shapes our Choices by Paul Lawrence and Nitin Nohria) if there is a small gap between what the listener is hearing that is familiar and what is divergent, a perceived large gap between the two, or non-perceived large gap, there will be no response or a fear-based response to the talker. It's only when there is a perceived medium gap will any action be taken - and then the listener will attempt to close the gap by following his/her own Ten Ways to Super Charge Your Sales
1. Add a no-fee interactive game to your web site. You couldhire someone to create it. You want to make the game relatedto the theme of your web site. In the case of our web site-- the Abundance Center -- the theme, abundance, could be agame on how to find abundance. 2. Everyone is training their employees to be good teammembers and have lost sight that each of them areindividuals as well. The team will not work well unlesseach individual is doing his or her job and then cometogether. Not the reverse as so many trainers are trying tosell you on. Make sure each of your sales team members have individualtraining as well, so that they can do their job well. Itreduces the time it takes for them to work as a team. 3. Make people feel like it is their idea to buy, they willbe less hesitant. Use language like, "You're making a smartdecision for buying our product" in your ads, in direct mailmaterial, in phone conversations -- everywhere. 4. Promote yourself, your products, and increase yourvisibility by writing Internet articles, magazine articles,ebooks, white papers, special reports, and booklets. Youalso want to endorse products written by others when youbelieve in a product or service. In fact, an unknown freelance writer client of mine startedthree years ago of writing book reviews on www.amazon.com.ections. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks." "No problem." And it was done. I had a belief that just because I was the 'customer' that I was the one who should get what I wanted. But in this case I had to become the 'seller' and sell the clerk the idea of giving me what I needed in the way I needed it, separate from his accustomed response. He became my buyer. IT'S NOT ABOUT RIGHT - IT'S ABOUT RELATIONSHIP We all face this problem daily: we believe we're right, that we need something done OUR way, that the other person is beholden to us to give us what we want OUR way, and that we're being perfectly reasonable and understandable, in word choice, request, or outcome. Indeed, we might even BE right. But that's not the point: we're seeking a communication, not a monologue. We forget that we are operating out of our own set of beliefs and values and that others have separate and different beliefs and values. Stir into the mix our often disparate communication capabilities, skill sets, goals, job descriptions - and we're off and running.... in different directions. Then we can say things like: - it wasn't my fault; I was clear; - he seemed to understand me when I was speaking with him; - when I left, we had agreed. I don't know what happened; - I thought we were on the same page. I didn't realize until too late how far apart we were; - what's his/her problem? - obviously not a decision-maker; not smart enough; - I was speaking perfectly plain English. The guy's a jerk. Let's assume that everyone is doing the best they can do. Let's also assume that most people are nice, and willing to be helpful. So what happens that makes them jerks? What's happening is that the other person is hearing us through their unique, very idiosyncratic beliefs systems and filters. Studies have shown that we only listen for data that will concur with what we already believe or are comfortable with. When we get new data, it's up for grabs as to how we accept it. According to accepted learning theories (G.M. Edelman and G Lowenstein as per discussion in Driven: How Human Nature Shapes our Choices by Paul Lawrence and Nitin Nohria) if there is a small gap between what the listener is hearing that is familiar and what is divergent, a perceived large gap between the two, or non-perceived large gap, there will be no response or a fear-based response to the talker. It's only when there is a perceived medium gap will any action be taken - and then the listener will attempt to close the gap by following his/her own How to Investigate a Business Franchise Opportunity - I thought we were on the same page. I didn't realize until too late how far apart we were;When you are considering investing in a franchise there are a few things that you should consider prior to making any moves. Many think of investing in a franchise as a way to own your own business and be your own boss, without having to do it alone.One of the most important factors that goes into purchasing a franchise is the location as it is crucial to it's success. You obviously would not want to purchase a franchise that is in an area that is on it's way down in market value. Also make sure that your business serves the local community that surrounds it.All franchises are in the business to make money, so they go out of their way to get you to invest in their company. By talking to different franchises you will be able to get the information you need to decide which company is best suited for you. Keep in mind that you are basically hearing a sales pitch. You will be hearing all of the upsides to the franchise without the negative and other disadvantages that come along. When you network with people who have already purchased franchises you are able to get first hand information from investors themselves.Regardless of the type of business you decide to invest in, you will need to invest your own time and effort. Make sure that you are willing to spend the necessary amount of time you need to get your business going and keep it on track. If you feel as if this would be a hassle than you may not be the right person to start up you - what's his/her problem? - obviously not a decision-maker; not smart enough; - I was speaking perfectly plain English. The guy's a jerk. Let's assume that everyone is doing the best they can do. Let's also assume that most people are nice, and willing to be helpful. So what happens that makes them jerks? What's happening is that the other person is hearing us through their unique, very idiosyncratic beliefs systems and filters. Studies have shown that we only listen for data that will concur with what we already believe or are comfortable with. When we get new data, it's up for grabs as to how we accept it. According to accepted learning theories (G.M. Edelman and G Lowenstein as per discussion in Driven: How Human Nature Shapes our Choices by Paul Lawrence and Nitin Nohria) if there is a small gap between what the listener is hearing that is familiar and what is divergent, a perceived large gap between the two, or non-perceived large gap, there will be no response or a fear-based response to the talker. It's only when there is a perceived medium gap will any action be taken - and then the listener will attempt to close the gap by following his/her own standard operating procedure. In other words, people don't like to be out of their comfort zone. So if you've got something to say to someone that involves - something new to think about, - some need for change, - anger/annoyance about something the listener didn't realize s/he created or didn't create with purpose, the odds of being heard in a way that supports collaboration are minimal at best. The sad thing is that relationships get damaged when one person gets annoyed that their communication partner is not responding 'appropriately ("You're not hearing me!")', or 'adequately' ("You didn't respond to what I just said."), or 'sufficiently' ('buyers are liars' fits here). HOW DO WE TALK TO EACH OTHER RESPONSIBLY In order to ensure that our communications are received the way we want them understood, we need a way to create a 'we space' between communicators. That means, someone - the 'seller' or the person wishing something from the communication - must make sure that each person is heard, understands what's being said, and responds appropriately. I'd love to tell you that each person in all interactions are willing to take responsibility, but that's just not true. Prospects have no reason to make sure they are being heard, or hear, efficiently; hostile partners or teammates don't care if they hear you or not; etc. Try convincing a teenager that they need to hear you lecture. Particularly when we get into our individual 'stuff', when our beliefs get triggered, it's very difficult - if not impossible - to really hear the person who's triggered our discomfort. We're not talking about 'right' here; we're talking about taking a level of responsibility above and beyond the normal 'communication' level, and working toward a collaboration regardless of who might be in the 'right'. So how do you take responsibility for another person's communication? How do you correct misinterpretations - before they happen? How do you fix something gone - or going - wrong? While there are several complex skills that are required to support this level of communication integrity, there are some simple behaviors that can go a long way toward making a difference. Primary is the recognition of a problem to begin with. Let's look here at the noticing aspect, the correcting aspect, and the make-sure-it-continues-to-go-right aspect. Noticing if it's working or not: 1. physical. Note the other person's demeanor. Notice facial expressions and posture. Was there a shift? Does there seem to be confusion? Does the facial expression seem to be congruent, but the words are not in total alignment with your end of the communication? If it doesn't seem right to you, it probably isn't. There's probably a glitch somewhere between what you thought you said and what they thought you said. 2. emotional. Are you both in rapport? How do you know? Do you continue in rapport as the communication proceeds? Do the words used have a natural cadence of up and down? Is there some malleability to your communication partner's voice, rather than a stern or emotionless voice tone? Has this person gone from comfort to discomfort? From soft to hard, or from light to heavy? If you are feeling discomfort, the other person is also. 3. mental. Are the messages you are sending being heard in the connotation you imply? If your message isn't being received properly you will hear a non-sequitor in response. Or you will hear what sounds like a normal response, but the affect/pitch/tone will be flat. Correcting a misperception: When you notice something is awry, you must go in and fix it immediately or it gets carried along within the dialogue as a huge sore that no one is attending to but is acutely impacting the communication. As one of my client's from Boston once said, it's like the turd in the punchbowl: everyone knows it's there, but everyone avoids it; everyone claims they are not thirsty and no one will take the responsibility to fix it, so they move on to another party where they can get punch. It's lose-lose. I'm suggesting that the person who wants something from the communication make sure the punch bowl is clean. As the owner of the communication, you must be the one to say: "Excuse me. I think there might be a confusion in our communication. I hear you saying X and it seems to me you might have heard me say Y. Is that true?" or "It seems to me you're annoyed by what I said, and that wasn't my intent. I want to make sure we stay on the same page: can you tell me what you heard me say so I can either correct it or re-state it?" or "It sounds as if you've lost interest in our conversation. Is there anything you need me to know in order to get back on track with you?" Because communication is a two-way exercise, losing the Receiver means you're not communicating. That might be ok in some situations, but not in others - especially when your job or relationship depends on it. The question I leave you with is: What would you need to know or believe differently to be wiling to take responsibility for both sides of a commun
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