I remembered I said to my parents I’m not going to school anymore. But what am I going to do if I am not going to school, I ask myself. Over the month of winter school holiday, it was really the most unhappy upsetting school holiday in my life. I felt like a failure and I just wanted to quit the game. I was lost and did not know how to go on.

My parent could not help in teaching me. I just have to find my own way to solve my own problem.

I realized I have only 2 choices; I can only choose to quit or to fight it.

Obviously I choose the lather one. I went back to school, with the same set of text book, for the first time in years. The first day going to school, I really wish that no one recognize me.

I step into the classroom and started all over again, with the new set of classmate b

In my heart I went a very subtle: wow! I cannot help it but recalling back the day of this really upset memory during my childhood just after my PSLE, equivalent to 6th grade in junior school, going into the Secondary level of my education.

My family background was a very conservative authentic Chinese family and both my parents speak only local dialect and some Chinese language. Naturally I was sent to a Chinese school from day one. All subjects including Science, mathematics, history etc. are all in Chinese except English language is in very simple English syllabus.

I speak only Chinese language and dialect as a child. I can only speak words of English and cannot make any proper sentences both in speech and writing.

My life started to change just after my PSLE results was out.

I remember my parent was called to my form teacher’s office to discuss the issues of transferring me to an English secondary school in the next grade because my examination results was good and qualify to consider the change.

Then, I have no idea what was going on.

All I know was I have excellent result in most subject and my parents have to make the decision for me to go to a popular Chinese Secondary School or put me in a less popular English school to change my destiny. My parent has no idea what to do and finally I guess they take the suggestions of my form teacher advice of sending me to an English secondary school.

There is where my ‘Nightmare’ starts.

School starts in a new year; the first day I step into a totally new environment of every subject is in English language except Chinese subject is simple Chinese. All my previous classmate was not there. Every body around me speaks English. All the teachers speak English. All the Science and Math formula is in English.

Everything was in English and I cannot recognize any thing in the text book at all!! I cannot communicate with my new classmates. I do not understand what my teacher is saying in class. And everyone laugh at me when I speak my broken English. I get no response when I speak Mandarin to anyone. And no one plays with me.

I feel like an alien.

Classmates tease me for not able to speak English but I do not understand what they say. All I saw was they were pointing at me and laughing. I stay away from everyone.

I hate school.

My first semester examination, all subject failed except Chinese subject was passed with flying color with almost full points. My first year end examination, again all subject failed except Chinese. I was not qualified to go to the next grade but have to repeat the same grade for another year. I was really demoralized emotionally totally as a kid and I cried for days.

Just not too long ago, I was scoring high marks in school and next I failed my entire subjects that are in English language.

That was the first major hit/test in my life.

I remembered I said to my parents I’m not going to school anymore. But what am I going to do if I am not going to school, I ask myself. Over the month of winter school holiday, it was really the most unhappy upsetting school holiday in my life. I felt like a failure and I just wanted to quit the game. I was lost and did not know how to go on.

My parent could not help in teaching me. I just have to find my own way to solve my own problem.

I realized I have only 2 choices; I can only choose to quit or to fight it.

Obviously I choose the lather one. I went back to school, with the same set of text book, for the first time in years. The first day going to school, I really wish that no one recognize me.

I step into the classroom and started all over again, with the new set of classmate b

I speak only Chinese language and dialect as a child. I can only speak words of English and cannot make any proper sentences both in speech and writing.

My life started to change just after my PSLE results was out.

I remember my parent was called to my form teacher’s office to discuss the issues of transferring me to an English secondary school in the next grade because my examination results was good and qualify to consider the change.

Then, I have no idea what was going on.

All I know was I have excellent result in most subject and my parents have to make the decision for me to go to a popular Chinese Secondary School or put me in a less popular English school to change my destiny. My parent has no idea what to do and finally I guess they take the suggestions of my form teacher advice of sending me to an English secondary school.

There is where my ‘Nightmare’ starts.

School starts in a new year; the first day I step into a totally new environment of every subject is in English language except Chinese subject is simple Chinese. All my previous classmate was not there. Every body around me speaks English. All the teachers speak English. All the Science and Math formula is in English.

Everything was in English and I cannot recognize any thing in the text book at all!! I cannot communicate with my new classmates. I do not understand what my teacher is saying in class. And everyone laugh at me when I speak my broken English. I get no response when I speak Mandarin to anyone. And no one plays with me.

I feel like an alien.

Classmates tease me for not able to speak English but I do not understand what they say. All I saw was they were pointing at me and laughing. I stay away from everyone.

I hate school.

My first semester examination, all subject failed except Chinese subject was passed with flying color with almost full points. My first year end examination, again all subject failed except Chinese. I was not qualified to go to the next grade but have to repeat the same grade for another year. I was really demoralized emotionally totally as a kid and I cried for days.

Just not too long ago, I was scoring high marks in school and next I failed my entire subjects that are in English language.

That was the first major hit/test in my life.

I remembered I said to my parents I’m not going to school anymore. But what am I going to do if I am not going to school, I ask myself. Over the month of winter school holiday, it was really the most unhappy upsetting school holiday in my life. I felt like a failure and I just wanted to quit the game. I was lost and did not know how to go on.

My parent could not help in teaching me. I just have to find my own way to solve my own problem.

I realized I have only 2 choices; I can only choose to quit or to fight it.

Obviously I choose the lather one. I went back to school, with the same set of text book, for the first time in years. The first day going to school, I really wish that no one recognize me.

I step into the classroom and started all over again, with the new set of classmate b

There is where my ‘Nightmare’ starts.

School starts in a new year; the first day I step into a totally new environment of every subject is in English language except Chinese subject is simple Chinese. All my previous classmate was not there. Every body around me speaks English. All the teachers speak English. All the Science and Math formula is in English.

Everything was in English and I cannot recognize any thing in the text book at all!! I cannot communicate with my new classmates. I do not understand what my teacher is saying in class. And everyone laugh at me when I speak my broken English. I get no response when I speak Mandarin to anyone. And no one plays with me.

I feel like an alien.

Classmates tease me for not able to speak English but I do not understand what they say. All I saw was they were pointing at me and laughing. I stay away from everyone.

I hate school.

My first semester examination, all subject failed except Chinese subject was passed with flying color with almost full points. My first year end examination, again all subject failed except Chinese. I was not qualified to go to the next grade but have to repeat the same grade for another year. I was really demoralized emotionally totally as a kid and I cried for days.

Just not too long ago, I was scoring high marks in school and next I failed my entire subjects that are in English language.

That was the first major hit/test in my life.

I remembered I said to my parents I’m not going to school anymore. But what am I going to do if I am not going to school, I ask myself. Over the month of winter school holiday, it was really the most unhappy upsetting school holiday in my life. I felt like a failure and I just wanted to quit the game. I was lost and did not know how to go on.

My parent could not help in teaching me. I just have to find my own way to solve my own problem.

I realized I have only 2 choices; I can only choose to quit or to fight it.

Obviously I choose the lather one. I went back to school, with the same set of text book, for the first time in years. The first day going to school, I really wish that no one recognize me.

I step into the classroom and started all over again, with the new set of classmate b

I feel like an alien.

Classmates tease me for not able to speak English but I do not understand what they say. All I saw was they were pointing at me and laughing. I stay away from everyone.

I hate school.

My first semester examination, all subject failed except Chinese subject was passed with flying color with almost full points. My first year end examination, again all subject failed except Chinese. I was not qualified to go to the next grade but have to repeat the same grade for another year. I was really demoralized emotionally totally as a kid and I cried for days.

Just not too long ago, I was scoring high marks in school and next I failed my entire subjects that are in English language.

That was the first major hit/test in my life.

I remembered I said to my parents I’m not going to school anymore. But what am I going to do if I am not going to school, I ask myself. Over the month of winter school holiday, it was really the most unhappy upsetting school holiday in my life. I felt like a failure and I just wanted to quit the game. I was lost and did not know how to go on.

My parent could not help in teaching me. I just have to find my own way to solve my own problem.

I realized I have only 2 choices; I can only choose to quit or to fight it.

Obviously I choose the lather one. I went back to school, with the same set of text book, for the first time in years. The first day going to school, I really wish that no one recognize me.

I step into the classroom and started all over again, with the new set of classmate b

I remembered I said to my parents I’m not going to school anymore. But what am I going to do if I am not going to school, I ask myself. Over the month of winter school holiday, it was really the most unhappy upsetting school holiday in my life. I felt like a failure and I just wanted to quit the game. I was lost and did not know how to go on.

My parent could not help in teaching me. I just have to find my own way to solve my own problem.

I realized I have only 2 choices; I can only choose to quit or to fight it.

Obviously I choose the lather one. I went back to school, with the same set of text book, for the first time in years. The first day going to school, I really wish that no one recognize me.

I step into the classroom and started all over again, with the new set of classmate because everyone has gone to the 8th grade except me. I felt left out and upset occasionally see them at the cafeteria as 8th grade student but I’m still at the 7th grade.

I took all courage to speak my first few sentences in English. I was laugh at again but this time I ask them to correct me. From the pain I went through, I learn to just take their laughter non personal. I realized in order for me to learn I must be willing to make lots of mistake.

I re-learn all the Science and Math formula all over again, memorizing them hard. Started learning everything all over again, that was really tough.

Besides school, no one else around me outside school can help me with learning. I depended only on my willingness to learn and make mistake and learn again that help myself to begin able to understand and read English.

I can’t deny that during than as a child I have the feeling of blaming my parent of putting me through these pains for their decision made. Until I was older that I understand it was situation change that things needed to change.

“Every adversity has a hidden seed of opportunity equivalent or greater” - Napoleon Hill

What if I have not gone through the phase of learning English as a language during my childhood time, today as an adult, can I learn English all over again? It would be much tougher and many things would be different now.

Till today, if you ask me what 7 multiply by 12 are? My thoughts would produce an answer from Chinese math multiplication with an answer in Chinese before I say 84, in English.

That is a secret I just told you.

All this years, in my thought, for me to write an essay is nearly impossible. Few years ago, I wanted to write my life journey but have always belief that I cannot write because I will be laugh at. In my business I always have someone to help me in writing.

Few months back in July, when I just return from California, a good friend suggested I should write a blog, in my heart my reply was I cannot write. He said to me: Just share your story.

After I return home, I started to write my blog thru the night and completed my first article that night. But I didn’t share with him or anyone because I have no confident to share with anyone my writing.

Until this friend of mine shared with me a book and in that book it says: Write just like you talk. Keep your writing simple. Use plain, easy to understand English. People don’t care if you know a lot of big words. Just imagine you are having a casual conversation with a friend, be friendly and personable.

Yes! And I can do that. And I’m willing to learn.

Now I feel comfortable to just have to speak to my friends here of my feelings and thoughts, and my entrepreneur journey.