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Actual for You - Difficult People: 3 Things You Must Know!
Losing a piece of paper can cost you piece of mind, a harmonious relationship, valuable time, an account, a promotion, or even your job! October is National Clean-Out Your Files Month -- a great time to face the facts about paper.According to research sited by Abigail Sellen and Richard Harper in The Myth of the Paperless Office (MIT Press 2002), by the year 2005 there will be 50% more paper in offices than there was in 1995. In addition, the average person spends over 150 hours a year looking for misplaced information. It’s clear that the concept of the paperless office is a myth, not to be realized in our lifetime. But let’s face it! Check out the homes and offices all over America and it is imminently clear that using traditional filing methods, the problem of managing paper will never be solved. There simply aren’t enough human resources to make file labels and put files in alphab
These snipers are the same difficult people who after cutting you down and insulting you, will say, "Oh, you just have no sense of humor." They're trying to put it all back on you. Really though it's about them and their own insecurities. Which brings me to the second main point in dealing with difficult people.
2) Low self-esteem. A lot
A Small Business Is Bought and SoldIS THERE A SMALL-BUSINESS OWNER who has never considered selling his business? Probably not. Is there an individual with some money, talent, or an urge for independence (often only the last) who hasn't thought about owning his own business?The number of small businesses actually bought and sold, however, represents only a small fraction of those who have felt these urges. To many people, the desire to buy or sell is only a passing thought. Others find various ways to solve their problems or satisfy their ambitions. But sometimes an individual doesn't follow through because he finds the prospect of buying or selling a business too baffling.The Flow of Decisions in a Buy-Sell TransactionBUYERS AND SELLERS both seek answers to the same question: "What is this business worth?" Most people see the worth of a business as the total value of e
Do you know any difficult people? Have you ever worked or lived with a difficult person? Are YOU a difficult person?! It's amazing how many participants in my leadership training will come up to me at the end of a program on, "Dealing with Difficult People," or "Dealing with Difficult Employees," and confide to me, "Colleen, I think sometimes I'm a difficult person and just realized it today!" Well, we can all be difficult people from time to time. But what do you do with the person who is chronically difficult? A key component to life balance is learning to deal with difficult people. There will always be difficult people. Here are three important points to remember.
1) All behavior has a positive intention - even with difficult people. 2) Low self-esteem is often at the root cause of why people are difficult. 3) You can't always please everybody.
1) All behavior has a positive intention. Take for example the gossip. When someone comes into your office gossiping about everyone else, who are they trying to make look better? Themselves. That is their positive intention. As a matter of fact, while you are reading this article, what do you think the difficult people/gossips are doing in your office? Gossiping about YOU! I'm just kidding. Sort of.
I don't think gossips realize that when they gossip to you about everyone else, you are probably thinking, "I wonder what they say about ME when I'm not around?" Remember, they have a positive intention. Strange as it may sound, they are trying to make themselves look better.
What about whiners and complainers? If someone comes to you complaining and whining about how much work they have to do, or how overloaded they are, what are they looking for? They're looking for empathy, sympathy. Or, these difficult people are looking for you to do the work for them. That's their positive intention. Now, we all have times when we're overloaded and feeling overwhelmed. But I'm talking about the real whiners and complainers. Those you might label "emotional vampires" because they just suck the life out of you.
What about snipers? Believe it or not, even these difficult people have a positive intention. They are the difficult people who throw little digs your way in the hopes of rattling your cage and ruffling your feathers. What's their positive intention? To make themselves look better. And, they think that by cutting you down, especially in front of others, that they'll look better. For example, in an open work area, a sniper might walk by and within earshot of others say to you, "Well, there goes Shelly, on her 100th personal phone call of the day!" AND, you weren't even on a personal phone call!
These snipers are the same difficult people who after cutting you down and insulting you, will say, "Oh, you just have no sense of humor." They're trying to put it all back on you. Really though it's about them and their own insecurities. Which brings me to the second main point in dealing with difficult people.
2) Low self-esteem. A lot
When many small business owners start out thinking about building a small business, they are often mislead into believing that the only document that they need to succeed is a Business Plan. In fact this plan is only one of seven documents every small business should have if they ever expect to survive let alone succeed.Let me explain …Doc 1. Business PlanThe Business plan, which is what most accountants, lawyers and business coaches will say is the only document that you need is the first document you must complete. I certainly do disagree totally that this is the only document you need, because the actual roll of this document is to summarize the other six mandatory documents that you must have.The size of your Business Plan document will vary depending on the size of your business that you are either buying or building. Your business plan should contain details on
1) All behavior has a positive intention - even with difficult people. 2) Low self-esteem is often at the root cause of why people are difficult. 3) You can't always please everybody.
1) All behavior has a positive intention. Take for example the gossip. When someone comes into your office gossiping about everyone else, who are they trying to make look better? Themselves. That is their positive intention. As a matter of fact, while you are reading this article, what do you think the difficult people/gossips are doing in your office? Gossiping about YOU! I'm just kidding. Sort of.
I don't think gossips realize that when they gossip to you about everyone else, you are probably thinking, "I wonder what they say about ME when I'm not around?" Remember, they have a positive intention. Strange as it may sound, they are trying to make themselves look better.
What about whiners and complainers? If someone comes to you complaining and whining about how much work they have to do, or how overloaded they are, what are they looking for? They're looking for empathy, sympathy. Or, these difficult people are looking for you to do the work for them. That's their positive intention. Now, we all have times when we're overloaded and feeling overwhelmed. But I'm talking about the real whiners and complainers. Those you might label "emotional vampires" because they just suck the life out of you.
What about snipers? Believe it or not, even these difficult people have a positive intention. They are the difficult people who throw little digs your way in the hopes of rattling your cage and ruffling your feathers. What's their positive intention? To make themselves look better. And, they think that by cutting you down, especially in front of others, that they'll look better. For example, in an open work area, a sniper might walk by and within earshot of others say to you, "Well, there goes Shelly, on her 100th personal phone call of the day!" AND, you weren't even on a personal phone call!
These snipers are the same difficult people who after cutting you down and insulting you, will say, "Oh, you just have no sense of humor." They're trying to put it all back on you. Really though it's about them and their own insecurities. Which brings me to the second main point in dealing with difficult people.
2) Low self-esteem. A lot
While there are certainly a number of medical treatments that offer great results, experts say that natural hair loss treatment can yield some of the best benefits for anyone concerned about the health of their hair. Most people choose to treat their hair loss with medications or surgery, such as Minoxidil or hair transplantation. However many people fail to realize that medication and surgery are costly and may carry some harmful side effects and risks. The safest and most cost efficient form of hair loss therapy is natural hair loss treatment, which includes healthy dieting, herbal remedies, exercise and proper hair care techniques. Natural hair loss treatment has become the “Lost Art” of hair repair and is often neglected as a form of treatment among the very pricey alternatives.A fundamental principal in natural hair loss treatment is that the same foods that are good for your health
I don't think gossips realize that when they gossip to you about everyone else, you are probably thinking, "I wonder what they say about ME when I'm not around?" Remember, they have a positive intention. Strange as it may sound, they are trying to make themselves look better.
What about whiners and complainers? If someone comes to you complaining and whining about how much work they have to do, or how overloaded they are, what are they looking for? They're looking for empathy, sympathy. Or, these difficult people are looking for you to do the work for them. That's their positive intention. Now, we all have times when we're overloaded and feeling overwhelmed. But I'm talking about the real whiners and complainers. Those you might label "emotional vampires" because they just suck the life out of you.
What about snipers? Believe it or not, even these difficult people have a positive intention. They are the difficult people who throw little digs your way in the hopes of rattling your cage and ruffling your feathers. What's their positive intention? To make themselves look better. And, they think that by cutting you down, especially in front of others, that they'll look better. For example, in an open work area, a sniper might walk by and within earshot of others say to you, "Well, there goes Shelly, on her 100th personal phone call of the day!" AND, you weren't even on a personal phone call!
These snipers are the same difficult people who after cutting you down and insulting you, will say, "Oh, you just have no sense of humor." They're trying to put it all back on you. Really though it's about them and their own insecurities. Which brings me to the second main point in dealing with difficult people.
2) Low self-esteem. A lot
The most preferred, fastest and smartest way to stay connected, mobile phones allow you to balance between your personal and professional lives. The fully loaded handsets with latest features and state-of-the-art designs are coming up with excellent multimedia services. Exquisite features like fast download of games, wallpapers, screensavers, themes and music are sure to create excitement in your life. Powered by 3G technology, mobile phones allow you to enter into a new world of entertainment, information and fast accessibility. 3G mobile phones can be used for video calling, email, instant messaging, download of games, broadband speed internet access, video messaging, updates on latest news and more.With 3G enabled mobile phones, you are offered a host of advanced features at a higher speed. Get a much better and faster access to information anytime and anywhere with 3G mobile phones. Exp
What about snipers? Believe it or not, even these difficult people have a positive intention. They are the difficult people who throw little digs your way in the hopes of rattling your cage and ruffling your feathers. What's their positive intention? To make themselves look better. And, they think that by cutting you down, especially in front of others, that they'll look better. For example, in an open work area, a sniper might walk by and within earshot of others say to you, "Well, there goes Shelly, on her 100th personal phone call of the day!" AND, you weren't even on a personal phone call!
These snipers are the same difficult people who after cutting you down and insulting you, will say, "Oh, you just have no sense of humor." They're trying to put it all back on you. Really though it's about them and their own insecurities. Which brings me to the second main point in dealing with difficult people.
2) Low self-esteem. A lot
Scholars should start investigating where they can apply for scholarships and grants. It is best to do this in time to work for one of these. Most scholarships are given to students for excellence in some field or other. It could be for sport or academic subjects but it is worthwhile going the extra mile to have your college fees paid for you.There are various types of loans available from various sources. There are loans given by government departments and the private sector and then there are the banks and various money lending institutions.The government loans are always sought after so the best thing is to get in an application early. These loans are limited in amount so the earlier your application is in the better your chances of getting one. The rates on these loans are normally lower than the regular student loans. Children of people affiliated with the armed forces ca
These snipers are the same difficult people who after cutting you down and insulting you, will say, "Oh, you just have no sense of humor." They're trying to put it all back on you. Really though it's about them and their own insecurities. Which brings me to the second main point in dealing with difficult people.
2) Low self-esteem. A lot has been written and talked about regarding self-esteem and self-confidence. It almost seems ridiculous quite frankly. For example, every child on a team winning a trophy even though they were on the LOSING team. All in the name of "self-esteem." And yet, a lot of difficult people do suffer from low self-esteem. Not always, but often.
Only one out of every three American adults has high self-esteem, and we're a pretty positive culture. But, only one out of three adults really has high self-esteem. Some of you may be thinking, "Well, I know it's definitely not me!" That's okay. It's something you can work on. The point is, that with difficult people it's not necessarily about you. You aren't the problem. It's about THEM. They're the difficult person. (More later on making sure we're not the difficult person!)
Low self-esteem often has its roots in childhood. It coulde be that the "difficult person" was teased by fellow classmates in school. This can result in one having a low opinion of themselves. You all know kids can be cruel. Sometimes it's something a teacher or a parent said. Or being compared to Super Parent or a superstar sibling. Any number of things can cause low self-esteem. You don't always know what's going on with someone else and why they're behaving the way they do.
Sometimes you can do all the right things and nothing works because they're a difficult person who doesn't want to change. Or, they haven't been held accountable for needing to change. So remember, focus on the part you can control - you.
3) You're not always going to please everyone. You won't always please everybody so get rid of the notion that you will. We can't always worry about what "everyone" else thinks of us.
Dr. Daniel Amen has what he calls the 18-40-60 rule. The 18-40-60 rule is: When you're 18 years old, you worry about what everyone is thinking of you. When you're 40, you don't care anymore what everyone thinks of you. And when you're 60, you realize nobody's been thinking about you at all! How true is that?! The older we get we realize "everybody" isn't thinking about us.
Also, don't be a person who tends to dwell. For example, have you ever been in a situation where a week after your encounter with the difficult person you're still stewing about them, thinking about them, and dissecting what was said? Remember, the person who constantly angers you...controls you.
Keep a pad of paper along with a pen in your car. Anytime you're afraid you're goin
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