Actual for You - Can We Talk? Interpersonal Communications 102

Listening involves three processes: receiving a message, processing a message and sending a message. Each message is a stimulus to be received and processed by the hearer. Reception of a message is a covert process; we cannot see how or what the hearer heard. Processing is also covert. It goes on the hearer’s mind (except for nonverbal cues) Processing a message includes thinking about what was heard and pondering its meaning. Errors in processing a message correctly often occur when our biases, preconceived ideas, judgments and so forth prevent us from acknowledging parts of a message or from interpreting the message without distortion. In other words, we hear bits and pieces that we form together in our minds that we compose into a message instead of the actual message.

I messages are messages where the speaker expresses his/her thoughts and feelings assertively by articulating: 1) the feeling or thought, 2) what behavior or action or words of the other precipitated the experience, and 3) the effect it had on the person.

For example: I felt hurt (feeling) when you did not introduce me to your boss (other’s behavior) because it made me think you were ashamed of me (effect).

You messages are messages where the speaker expresses his/her thought and feelings by ignoring his/her experience, blaming, judging, or belittling the other person for his/her experience and he/she accepts no responsibility or control for interpreting behavior and actions in certain ways.

For example: What kind of game are you playing? You deliberately ignored me when your boss came over (blaming). Well to tell you the truth I don’t care (ignoring experience) and you are a bigger idiot than I thought if you think I do (belittling).

There are 8 basic skills in making sure your ideas and feelings are effectively communicated.

1. Clearly "own" your own message by using personal pronouns such as "I" and "my."

2. Make your messages complete and specific.

3. Express genuine care and concern in your messages.

4. Ask open ended questions.

5. Ask for feedback concerning the way your messages are being received.

6. Make the message appropriate to the receiver and frame of reference.

7. Describe your feelings, by name or action.

8. Describe other's behavior without evaluating or interpreting.

1. Messages that evaluate or judge.

2. Messages that try to control. Mortgages: The Age Problem
Pensioners should be sitting pretty regarding mortgages shouldn’t they? After all, they should by now have completed their payments and be the sole owners of their homes. Sadly, for some 600,000 pensioners this is not true – they are still paying off their mortgages, and not just for a couple of years after retirement. For example, over 20,000 who still have to reach the final payment are in their 80’s.Couple this with the research frobiases, preconceived ideas, judgments and so forth prevent us from acknowledging parts of a message or from interpreting the message without distortion. In other words, we hear bits and pieces that we form together in our minds that we compose into a message instead of the actual message.

I messages are messages where the speaker expresses his/her thoughts and feelings assertively by articulating: 1) the feeling or thought, 2) what behavior or action or words of the other precipitated the experience, and 3) the effect it had on the person.

For example: I felt hurt (feeling) when you did not introduce me to your boss (other’s behavior) because it made me think you were ashamed of me (effect).

You messages are messages where the speaker expresses his/her thought and feelings by ignoring his/her experience, blaming, judging, or belittling the other person for his/her experience and he/she accepts no responsibility or control for interpreting behavior and actions in certain ways.

For example: What kind of game are you playing? You deliberately ignored me when your boss came over (blaming). Well to tell you the truth I don’t care (ignoring experience) and you are a bigger idiot than I thought if you think I do (belittling).

There are 8 basic skills in making sure your ideas and feelings are effectively communicated.

1. Clearly "own" your own message by using personal pronouns such as "I" and "my."

2. Make your messages complete and specific.

3. Express genuine care and concern in your messages.

4. Ask open ended questions.

5. Ask for feedback concerning the way your messages are being received.

6. Make the message appropriate to the receiver and frame of reference.

7. Describe your feelings, by name or action.

8. Describe other's behavior without evaluating or interpreting.

1. Messages that evaluate or judge.

2. Messages that try to control. What Does Your Brand Smell Like
Close your eyes for a moment and think of the smell of freshly baked bread – what does that wonderful warm smell remind you of? Perhaps it takes you back in time to your childhood, to Sunday mornings when you used to walk down to the corner bakery to buy a fresh loaf dusted with flour.In the same way that an everyday aroma can instantly take us to another place and time in our minds and remind us of people and places, so too is it possthe experience, and 3) the effect it had on the person.

For example: I felt hurt (feeling) when you did not introduce me to your boss (other’s behavior) because it made me think you were ashamed of me (effect).

You messages are messages where the speaker expresses his/her thought and feelings by ignoring his/her experience, blaming, judging, or belittling the other person for his/her experience and he/she accepts no responsibility or control for interpreting behavior and actions in certain ways.

For example: What kind of game are you playing? You deliberately ignored me when your boss came over (blaming). Well to tell you the truth I don’t care (ignoring experience) and you are a bigger idiot than I thought if you think I do (belittling).

There are 8 basic skills in making sure your ideas and feelings are effectively communicated.

1. Clearly "own" your own message by using personal pronouns such as "I" and "my."

2. Make your messages complete and specific.

3. Express genuine care and concern in your messages.

4. Ask open ended questions.

5. Ask for feedback concerning the way your messages are being received.

6. Make the message appropriate to the receiver and frame of reference.

7. Describe your feelings, by name or action.

8. Describe other's behavior without evaluating or interpreting.

1. Messages that evaluate or judge.

2. Messages that try to control. Tips for Building Your First Online Shopping Cart
Starting your first online store?Starting an online store can be extremely daunting for someone new to the world of online businesses, but, for a good reason. There are so many aspects which create success for a shopping cart in a world of powerful search engines, directories, affiliates and word of mouth, the chance of making it big can rely purely on a big budget or a brand new idea. If you’re thinking of bu> What kind of game are you playing? You deliberately ignored me when your boss came over (blaming). Well to tell you the truth I don’t care (ignoring experience) and you are a bigger idiot than I thought if you think I do (belittling).

There are 8 basic skills in making sure your ideas and feelings are effectively communicated.

1. Clearly "own" your own message by using personal pronouns such as "I" and "my."

2. Make your messages complete and specific.

3. Express genuine care and concern in your messages.

4. Ask open ended questions.

5. Ask for feedback concerning the way your messages are being received.

6. Make the message appropriate to the receiver and frame of reference.

7. Describe your feelings, by name or action.

8. Describe other's behavior without evaluating or interpreting.

1. Messages that evaluate or judge.

2. Messages that try to control. Tired Of The Scams
Hi, my name is Melissa and I am a 33 year old single mother of 2 boys—Christopher 5 and Aydan 3. It has always been a dream of mine to be able to work from home and be able to support my children. I have a thing about wanting to be the one to raise them without depending on someone else to do it for me. I have made several attempts to become successful online to no avail. I jumped from program to program—hoping to find that one program that w

3. Express genuine care and concern in your messages.

4. Ask open ended questions.

5. Ask for feedback concerning the way your messages are being received.

6. Make the message appropriate to the receiver and frame of reference.

7. Describe your feelings, by name or action.

8. Describe other's behavior without evaluating or interpreting.

1. Messages that evaluate or judge.

2. Messages that try to control.

3. Messages that have numerous and/or conflicting motives: no one likes to be the victim of some hidden motivation and most people dislike deceit.

4. Messages that appear to lack concern for the other's welfare.

5. Messages that threaten or warn.

6. Messages that suggest you feel superior in some way.

7. Messages that insult, blame, shame.

It is indeed challenging to recognize your own listening and communications pattern. But you have probably recognized the patterns of others. Did he or she pick up your entire message? Did you feel understood? What interpretations did they make?

As you work to fine-tune your listening, you will discover your relationship with your family, friends and others becoming more and more satisfying.

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