• Vampyrus talkus maximus: This vampire forces one person (or sneakily - one topic) to dominate the meeting, momentum is lost and other participants drop out verbally and mentally. The longer this goes on, the harder it is to get the group re-engaged. Often, the other truly important agenda items are left to wait for another meeting.

INTERVENTION

Now that you have identified these three pests, the next step is Intervention. Here are some helpful tools and tactics to deal with the Vampires roaming your halls.

• Irrelevance

As with the Vampires of legend, this corporate species has an extreme aversion for mirrors.

As your own energy wanes, along with your interest, you belatedly realize you’re the victim of the dreaded-

Meeting Vampire (vampyrus occursus)

SO WHO INVITED THE VAMPIRES?

According to legend, it is impossible for a vampire to enter your house unless you have invited it in, and yet they have invaded the sanctity of your work place. At some point in the distant past, your company invited a vampire to enter its house, and the question that now looms before you -- and the rest of Corporate America as well -- is how to effectively deal with them.

Start with your own meetings. Maybe you meet with a team or a project group. Typically, energy is high when the meeting starts. Then something happens and boredom or tension sets in. That something could very well be one or more Meeting Vampires who have come to feed on your energy, and do so by taking the discussion off-topic, confusing people on why they are there and what work they will take away at meeting's end. And, of course, they drain your energy by prompting one person to talk…and talk…and talk.

Also according to legend, there are a few special tools used to deal with the usual vampire threat. While decapitation and exposure to direct sunlight will do, the preferred method of most vampire slayers through the ages has always been a good old-fashioned wooden stake through the heart. Of course, any sharp and pointy wooden object can be used - a pencil, a table leg, a pool cue - but there's just no substitute for a well-whittled stake to rid yourself of that undead pest.

Of course, those are for the regular vampires of legend. In the Corporate world, we’re limited to less lethal forms of intervention. However, Corporate Vampires (no, I’m not referring to the lawyers) come in a variety of types, which differ from the norm and require a completely separate set of tools and tactics to drive them away. Heading them off before their bite is fatal is key. How you do this depends upon the type of vampire.

IDENTIFICATION

Before we can drive them away, we have to identify what kind of vampire has afflicted your meeting. Research into the appearances of Meeting Vampires in the workplace has led to the discovery and subsequent identification of three specific species.

• Vampyrus irrelevancium: This vampire causes the group to stray off-topic or get caught in a repetitive conversation.

• Vampyrus confusio: This species of Meeting Vampires is actually a hive or nesting that creates an atmosphere of confusion where participants don’t know what topic is being worked on, if a decision was made, what the decision was, or what the next steps are. The hapless victims are easy prey for these predators who then suck the life out of them and their meetings.

• Vampyrus talkus maximus: This vampire forces one person (or sneakily - one topic) to dominate the meeting, momentum is lost and other participants drop out verbally and mentally. The longer this goes on, the harder it is to get the group re-engaged. Often, the other truly important agenda items are left to wait for another meeting.

INTERVENTION

Now that you have identified these three pests, the next step is Intervention. Here are some helpful tools and tactics to deal with the Vampires roaming your halls.

• Irrelevance

As with the Vampires of legend, this corporate species has an extreme aversion for mirrors.

Start with your own meetings. Maybe you meet with a team or a project group. Typically, energy is high when the meeting starts. Then something happens and boredom or tension sets in. That something could very well be one or more Meeting Vampires who have come to feed on your energy, and do so by taking the discussion off-topic, confusing people on why they are there and what work they will take away at meeting's end. And, of course, they drain your energy by prompting one person to talk…and talk…and talk.

Also according to legend, there are a few special tools used to deal with the usual vampire threat. While decapitation and exposure to direct sunlight will do, the preferred method of most vampire slayers through the ages has always been a good old-fashioned wooden stake through the heart. Of course, any sharp and pointy wooden object can be used - a pencil, a table leg, a pool cue - but there's just no substitute for a well-whittled stake to rid yourself of that undead pest.

Of course, those are for the regular vampires of legend. In the Corporate world, we’re limited to less lethal forms of intervention. However, Corporate Vampires (no, I’m not referring to the lawyers) come in a variety of types, which differ from the norm and require a completely separate set of tools and tactics to drive them away. Heading them off before their bite is fatal is key. How you do this depends upon the type of vampire.

IDENTIFICATION

Before we can drive them away, we have to identify what kind of vampire has afflicted your meeting. Research into the appearances of Meeting Vampires in the workplace has led to the discovery and subsequent identification of three specific species.

• Vampyrus irrelevancium: This vampire causes the group to stray off-topic or get caught in a repetitive conversation.

• Vampyrus confusio: This species of Meeting Vampires is actually a hive or nesting that creates an atmosphere of confusion where participants don’t know what topic is being worked on, if a decision was made, what the decision was, or what the next steps are. The hapless victims are easy prey for these predators who then suck the life out of them and their meetings.

• Vampyrus talkus maximus: This vampire forces one person (or sneakily - one topic) to dominate the meeting, momentum is lost and other participants drop out verbally and mentally. The longer this goes on, the harder it is to get the group re-engaged. Often, the other truly important agenda items are left to wait for another meeting.

INTERVENTION

Now that you have identified these three pests, the next step is Intervention. Here are some helpful tools and tactics to deal with the Vampires roaming your halls.

• Irrelevance

As with the Vampires of legend, this corporate species has an extreme aversion for mirrors.

Of course, those are for the regular vampires of legend. In the Corporate world, we’re limited to less lethal forms of intervention. However, Corporate Vampires (no, I’m not referring to the lawyers) come in a variety of types, which differ from the norm and require a completely separate set of tools and tactics to drive them away. Heading them off before their bite is fatal is key. How you do this depends upon the type of vampire.

IDENTIFICATION

Before we can drive them away, we have to identify what kind of vampire has afflicted your meeting. Research into the appearances of Meeting Vampires in the workplace has led to the discovery and subsequent identification of three specific species.

• Vampyrus irrelevancium: This vampire causes the group to stray off-topic or get caught in a repetitive conversation.

• Vampyrus confusio: This species of Meeting Vampires is actually a hive or nesting that creates an atmosphere of confusion where participants don’t know what topic is being worked on, if a decision was made, what the decision was, or what the next steps are. The hapless victims are easy prey for these predators who then suck the life out of them and their meetings.

• Vampyrus talkus maximus: This vampire forces one person (or sneakily - one topic) to dominate the meeting, momentum is lost and other participants drop out verbally and mentally. The longer this goes on, the harder it is to get the group re-engaged. Often, the other truly important agenda items are left to wait for another meeting.

INTERVENTION

Now that you have identified these three pests, the next step is Intervention. Here are some helpful tools and tactics to deal with the Vampires roaming your halls.

• Irrelevance

As with the Vampires of legend, this corporate species has an extreme aversion for mirrors.

IDENTIFICATION

Before we can drive them away, we have to identify what kind of vampire has afflicted your meeting. Research into the appearances of Meeting Vampires in the workplace has led to the discovery and subsequent identification of three specific species.

• Vampyrus irrelevancium: This vampire causes the group to stray off-topic or get caught in a repetitive conversation.

• Vampyrus confusio: This species of Meeting Vampires is actually a hive or nesting that creates an atmosphere of confusion where participants don’t know what topic is being worked on, if a decision was made, what the decision was, or what the next steps are. The hapless victims are easy prey for these predators who then suck the life out of them and their meetings.

• Vampyrus talkus maximus: This vampire forces one person (or sneakily - one topic) to dominate the meeting, momentum is lost and other participants drop out verbally and mentally. The longer this goes on, the harder it is to get the group re-engaged. Often, the other truly important agenda items are left to wait for another meeting.

INTERVENTION

Now that you have identified these three pests, the next step is Intervention. Here are some helpful tools and tactics to deal with the Vampires roaming your halls.

• Irrelevance

As with the Vampires of legend, this corporate species has an extreme aversion for mirrors.

• Vampyrus talkus maximus: This vampire forces one person (or sneakily - one topic) to dominate the meeting, momentum is lost and other participants drop out verbally and mentally. The longer this goes on, the harder it is to get the group re-engaged. Often, the other truly important agenda items are left to wait for another meeting.

INTERVENTION

Now that you have identified these three pests, the next step is Intervention. Here are some helpful tools and tactics to deal with the Vampires roaming your halls.

• Irrelevance

As with the Vampires of legend, this corporate species has an extreme aversion for mirrors. Distribute the agenda prior to the meeting, and make sure to bring extra copies to the meeting. This is your “mirror” and reflects the purpose of the meeting.

The quickest way to stop or deflect the vampire’s attack is by showing the “mirror”. Ask politely how the subject under discussion relates to the purpose of the meeting. If there is no reflection, then ask the group to stay focused on the task.

If that doesn’t stop the attack, then simply misdirect the vampire by writing the side issue on a separate piece of paper (many people refer to this as the “Parking Lot”). If there is time, return to it at the end of the agenda, or bring it to the next meeting.

• Confusion

This type of Corporate Vampire is as susceptible to the light of day as any vampire of legend. They may not actually combust with exposure to direct sunlight, but they will certainly dissipate. Your agenda can be used to shed light on the topics under discussion.

If confusion begins to cloud the meeting, use a decision board (write it up on a flipchart) to drive the hive away. After each item is completed, re-state that item and the decision made. People will see the progress being made and the light of day will return.

Before the meeting ends, and confusion reasserts itself, write up “next steps” on the decision items. Be clear about what the next steps are and send the list to attendees after the meeting.

To keep confusion at bay, send the “next steps” out again prior to the next meeting, so people are reminded of the action steps they will have to report on.

• Talk Time Dominance

This may be the most difficult species of the three Corporate Vampires to drive off. Use of mirrors or daylight may have no effect; only heading them off will work. This species is the oldest and strongest of the breed and it will take an especially skilled chairperson to identify and intervene against them.

There are several tactics that can be used against this vampire, singularly or in combination. Their overall effectiveness will depend on the chairperson and the vampire.

* Make sure your meeting ground rules say something about equitable airtime so you can remind the group of the rules they agreed to earlier. * Put your hand in a “STOP” position. Paraphrase the speaker’s point ("Just so I understand, Mary, you are saying that…”) and then ask if anyone has anything else to add. * Thank the speaker and turn to the group - “Who hasn’t spoken up yet?” * Ask everyone to take five silent minutes and write down his or her recommendation (or opinion or worries or whatever fits the situation). Then go around the table and hear from everyone. Make sure the problem participant is not first or last. * If the challenge is to keep one topic from dominating the entire meeting when there are other important items to be addressed, enlist the power of the group by asking something like, "It seems this topic requires more time than we allotted for it. We have other more immediate topic