But the first thing you have to do with closure is understand the big picture. In my own relationship, I was totally unconscious, I didn’t understand about being qualified or understanding the other person’s relationship needs to be qualified. You know, I was toxic, I was deficient, I didn’t understand the relationship game and I had a low level of relati

A lot of you have been through a lot of ups and downs, and the challenge is about people who are breaking up and are thinking of breaking up or deciding whether they should stay or go is that they are making decisions based on love and attraction, friendship and fun and sometimes the kids, the mortgage, finances or family. All these things create a push pull, an approach avoidance conflict as they say in Psychology.

Basically you have to listen to your heart. What is your highest and best? If you are living your life according to a metaphysical underpinning or paradigm where you are looking for your highest and best soulmate, you ultimately want to have a soulmate that you can have a relationship with, not just a soulmate, because you are already saying “Yeah, this person is my soulmate.”

Yeah, they probably are, they are here to teach you what you want and what you don’t want. It is a stepping stone, if you just look at the big picture, if you get your ego out of the way and look at what is highest and best for you. Your job is to turn your dreams into reality and with some people you cannot create the relationship of your dreams. You need different things. Yes, they have a lot of what you want, and that is what the problem is, it is not all good or all bad, if it was you wouldn’t be reading this article.

The problem is that there is some really good stuff that is reinforcing you and you are on an intermittent reinforcement schedule. Again, another psychological concept, that the good times will make you stay. Generally your life is not good and you are in pain all the time and you are in horrendous power struggles. Maybe you have gone to counselling, and you are trying to work things out, but they are not working out because they are deal breakers, well then you need to move on and you need to get closure.

But the first thing you have to do with closure is understand the big picture. In my own relationship, I was totally unconscious, I didn’t understand about being qualified or understanding the other person’s relationship needs to be qualified. You know, I was toxic, I was deficient, I didn’t understand the relationship game and I had a low level of relatio

Basically you have to listen to your heart. What is your highest and best? If you are living your life according to a metaphysical underpinning or paradigm where you are looking for your highest and best soulmate, you ultimately want to have a soulmate that you can have a relationship with, not just a soulmate, because you are already saying “Yeah, this person is my soulmate.”

Yeah, they probably are, they are here to teach you what you want and what you don’t want. It is a stepping stone, if you just look at the big picture, if you get your ego out of the way and look at what is highest and best for you. Your job is to turn your dreams into reality and with some people you cannot create the relationship of your dreams. You need different things. Yes, they have a lot of what you want, and that is what the problem is, it is not all good or all bad, if it was you wouldn’t be reading this article.

The problem is that there is some really good stuff that is reinforcing you and you are on an intermittent reinforcement schedule. Again, another psychological concept, that the good times will make you stay. Generally your life is not good and you are in pain all the time and you are in horrendous power struggles. Maybe you have gone to counselling, and you are trying to work things out, but they are not working out because they are deal breakers, well then you need to move on and you need to get closure.

But the first thing you have to do with closure is understand the big picture. In my own relationship, I was totally unconscious, I didn’t understand about being qualified or understanding the other person’s relationship needs to be qualified. You know, I was toxic, I was deficient, I didn’t understand the relationship game and I had a low level of relati

Yeah, they probably are, they are here to teach you what you want and what you don’t want. It is a stepping stone, if you just look at the big picture, if you get your ego out of the way and look at what is highest and best for you. Your job is to turn your dreams into reality and with some people you cannot create the relationship of your dreams. You need different things. Yes, they have a lot of what you want, and that is what the problem is, it is not all good or all bad, if it was you wouldn’t be reading this article.

The problem is that there is some really good stuff that is reinforcing you and you are on an intermittent reinforcement schedule. Again, another psychological concept, that the good times will make you stay. Generally your life is not good and you are in pain all the time and you are in horrendous power struggles. Maybe you have gone to counselling, and you are trying to work things out, but they are not working out because they are deal breakers, well then you need to move on and you need to get closure.

But the first thing you have to do with closure is understand the big picture. In my own relationship, I was totally unconscious, I didn’t understand about being qualified or understanding the other person’s relationship needs to be qualified. You know, I was toxic, I was deficient, I didn’t understand the relationship game and I had a low level of relati

The problem is that there is some really good stuff that is reinforcing you and you are on an intermittent reinforcement schedule. Again, another psychological concept, that the good times will make you stay. Generally your life is not good and you are in pain all the time and you are in horrendous power struggles. Maybe you have gone to counselling, and you are trying to work things out, but they are not working out because they are deal breakers, well then you need to move on and you need to get closure.

But the first thing you have to do with closure is understand the big picture. In my own relationship, I was totally unconscious, I didn’t understand about being qualified or understanding the other person’s relationship needs to be qualified. You know, I was toxic, I was deficient, I didn’t understand the relationship game and I had a low level of relati

But the first thing you have to do with closure is understand the big picture. In my own relationship, I was totally unconscious, I didn’t understand about being qualified or understanding the other person’s relationship needs to be qualified. You know, I was toxic, I was deficient, I didn’t understand the relationship game and I had a low level of relationship mastery. I really wasn’t qualified and a lot of people really aren’t qualified to be in a relationship.

If you look at jobs, they say are you qualified for this job? People say “yeah of course” or “no, this person isn’t qualified.” But in relationships we don’t even think about that concept. You need to have a certain level of communication skills, openness, you can’t be shutdown, and you can’t have a lot of negative behaviors. You got to have an understanding of the game and you have to understand people, and the relationship process.

You know, you have to have a lot of this relationship mastery, at least the basics to get into the game and stay in the game. I mean anyone can get into the game. If you go into a relationship you have to ask yourself, can you keep them? That’s the key; you need to have the relationship intelligence, the relationship mastery at a certain level.

So I had to get rid of a lot of my toxicities and defiencies. I had to understand the game and the different personalities, different values, different lifestyles. That will help you get closure.

I was with a lovely lady Lucie, we had different visions and values, we had different lifestyles, and we had different life values. The love was there and the attraction was there. It was even worst with earlier relationships that I talk about in True Love on Demand, these people where dysfunctional, they were character disordered, they were unavailable, they had some major issues going on and I had some major issues, I had some toxicities and some deficiencies.

You know, I had no idea about the relationship game; I should not have been in relationships at that time. Someone should have pulled me away and trained me for half a year, six months or three months or whatever, to wake me up and smell the coffee, because I was really good in other areas of my life, but I certainly wasn’t good in relationships.

The foll