Actual for You - Relationships

Home Equity Loans Can Also Be Refinanced!
Lower interest rates and monthly home equity loan payments can make cash available for other usage or make debt more manageable. As interest rates move in cycles, when rates drop, it is the best time for refinancing. This is what most advisors suggest provided that your home equity loan is due in a long repayment program. How to Know When To Refinance Refinancing is not recommended if you plan to sell your home in a year. With closing costs and other fees, it’s crucial to know whether refinancing cost is offset by lower monthly payments. Refinancing also avoids a balloon payment. Combine your first mortgage and home equity loan or credit line for one fixed-term payment and avoid a huge lump sum payment.Using equity from refinancing to pay off credit card debt makes a bad deal. In transferring $15,000 in credit cards to a new 30-year first mortgage, monthly payments may decrease but due to the long term of the loan, it costs more to pay off otherwise revolving credit cards. Fees And Other Charges Better than that is to take 10 years to pay off the charge cards which can save you 20 years worth of additional interest. Consider also how long it will take to break even. Refinancing costs of $2,500 with payments $100 lower each month, you need 25 months to break even.Apart from lower interest rate, refinancing also offers the advantage of converting all or part of your equity loans to a fixed-rate installment loan. It also enables you to acquire a shorter-term loan to build new equity more quickly. In refinancing at lower rates, it is common for homeowners to take cash from the equity for a remodeling project too.Refinancing is Not For Everyone 10 years into a 30-year mortgage makes refinancing a new 30-year loan pointless as it would mean paying off for 40 years. Keeping mortgage on the books for this long can boost overall interest expenses for a home.If your credit is worse now than when you originally borrowed, then it is not advisable to refinance. Credit score falls with late mortgage, credit card or auto payments since buying your home. Since you no longer qualify for the best rates, refinancing may boost payme

tried to be honest in my relationships. Sometimes people say I lie. I must. Sometimes I tell the truth, but the person just doesn’t want to hear it. They say, “No, that’s not how you feel” but it is. I believe that lovers come together with love, they process emotions as part of their growth in love, they stay together in a relationship because their dreams overlap, and they stay together in love whether they admit it or not.

Truth is an powerless, raw, vulnerable experience. Emotions reveal a lot of truth. Truth of emotions is not “the truth”, it is “your truth”. So, “your truth” can become food for growth for both you and your partner.

Some people tell the truth because they are guilty and want to get the guilt off their chest. That is not telling the truth, it is passing the buck. If you are carrying guilt you are far wiser to process that guilt until there is love. Then share. But passing your guilt to your partner turns to their

Why Offshore Asset Protection (Aka Foreign Asset Protection) Is Good?
The U.S. Taxpayer has been intimidated by the government, accountants, and lawyers into equating offshore or foreign business asset protection as fraudulent, unlawful illicit activities and as hiding their assets, fortunes and money illegally. The foreign countries take the opposite point of view that doing business with U.S. citizens is not worth their time and effort because it subjects them to too many restrictions and over reporting to too many agencies.For example, the United States Congress since the year 2000 has added some 20,000 pages of new tax-law regulations and increased the number of 1040 forms (individual income tax return) reporting and compliance requirement from 475 to 582. Americans spend on average 26 hours and spend in excess of $140 billion in tax preparation and compliance, each year. The laws are so complex that 60% of Americans have to hire professional help.Foreigners avoid doing business with US citizens because they don’t want to be dragged into a myriad of compliance. Why are there so many lawyers like coffee shops around every corner?Mention the word “Offshore” and I will lose 98% of the people. The perception of "offshore" is that it’s a less than credible type planning. Have you noticed that no U.S.-based newspaper has any bank certificate deposit offers or information about bank certificate deposits? There is only mention of U.S.-based investment opportunities. So how do non-U.S. citizens make their money? Is America the only country that has and created this impeccable knowledge of business and commerce?More to the point, nothing about foreign commerce is being taught in our colleges - nothing truly worthwhile that is of pragmatic significance anyway. In a shrinking global economy and internet-based worldwide commerce, the lack of information on international commerce is bewildering.Even of a certain well respected business college where I'm a graduate of and where the composition of foreign students to U.S. students are about 65% from outside the United States, the professors have the word “International” on their business cards; yet when quizzed about how to conduct business in a foreign country, their stock answer is that I should consult with my accountant or lawyer. To which I respond, so you’ve never conducted business

Knocking down De Fence...

We withdraw from love because we expect something and don’t get it. We take offense to something, so the ego is unwilling to let you play anymore. The solution is to change our expectation, to knock down DE fence, but instead the ego takes offence.

In the American football game there are the defensive and the offensive groups within each team. The offensive group attack and try to score points. Now that is the game of football. But in relationships, there are different rules. For every point you gain, you lose another. Balance means neutral scores.

Taking offence means that someone has upset something in your ego and you are reacting to it. Now consider this, maybe they are right, but you just don’t want to admit it.

If you are accused by your lover of some crime or ill doing, and can say, “Yes, I am capable of that and worthy of love for it”, you will pass the whole journey of growth back to your lover.

Truth in Love

Honesty, they cry

Honesty they cry

But really they mean conformity

they ask for honesty

But condemn anything that doesn’t fit their expectations.

Is that honest?

Our expectations?

Maybe the first honesty is admitting

That everything we know

Is a lie.

Nature’s law pervades every walk of life so it is not specifically what you think that matters; it is how you think that makes the difference. You must change how you think from one-sided learning (causes depression) to balanced thinking (causes love).

Most business power and success comes from lies, or at least the ability not to tell the truth. Secrets. Telling lies means withholding the truth, and therefore holding great power. So, in your relationship, if you want great power, then its best to withhold the truth, not reveal your emotions, blame your partner and tell lies. This is a very powerful way to approach relationship, and a perfect way to prevent vulnerability.

But if you want love. Well that’s a different story. Love means naked, raw, honest, exposed, vulnerability. I hear people say, “I need to trust before I become vulnerable” and that is a horrible lie. The only person you need to trust in being vulnerable is you. Shame makes us worry about trust. Why would we be holding back anything if it weren’t for shame. Shame means we are not worthy of love, therefore, we can’t trust ourselves being open and natural and vulnerable. So we seek out people with the same ego issues and open up to them, only because they agree that we are victims.

Remember as a child you’d put your hands up to your face, and because you couldn’t see people, you automatically thought they couldn’t see you. My daughter did this all the time when she was being reprimanded for playing up. She’d just put her little open palms in front of her eyes and disappear, as far she was concerned, into nowhere. This made me realise how easy it is to shame someone in the process of helping them learn.

Power comes from lies. Love comes from truth. Power comes from not revealing who we are. Love comes from vulnerability. Most people don’t know how to love. So they ask for ego backup instead. They go looking for ego support, “Oh, yes, you poor man, she was such a nasty thing, now lets process her, so you feel well”. If you want to waste your entire life in therapy, and finding equally deluded friends who are emotionally inept, then holding back is perfect. However, it is not love, and certainly not the food for sacred relationship.

In my relationships, I am very honest. Right up front. If I am falling in love with someone else I speak out. If I am finished in the old relationship, I speak out. This is not enjoyable for either person, but it is love. Since my marriage more than 20 years ago, I have tried to be honest in my relationships. Sometimes people say I lie. I must. Sometimes I tell the truth, but the person just doesn’t want to hear it. They say, “No, that’s not how you feel” but it is. I believe that lovers come together with love, they process emotions as part of their growth in love, they stay together in a relationship because their dreams overlap, and they stay together in love whether they admit it or not.

Ringtones: The Past, the Present, and the Future - What Comes Next?
Most communication devices like the telephone create a “sound” known as ringtone. This denotes an incoming call.With the progress communication technology, ringtones are fast developing from the simplest to the best form that you could get.Primitive ringtones were known as monophonic tones or monotones. These types of ringtones have very simple sounds. They have single musical line.Tones like these are usually programmed in the mobile phone. In some instances, the phone has a “built-in composer” to create clear-cut sounds. The composed tone can be sent through short message service also known as “SMS text.”Along came PolyphonicA polyphonic tone or a polytone has much better sound quality than the monotone. It includes two or more notes such as the sound of piano, drums, flute and a lot more. This sounds more lifelike and can be easily downloaded to a mobile phone.Some networks made a lot of money by making these tones readily available and easy to download. There is no need for you to compose one. This can also be sent through SMS text. These tones are advertised on web sites, newspapers, radio and television.And Now Comes the Real ThingA true tone comprises the real sound of a song. It has all the sound of the instruments and voice. Basically, it captures the entire song.To program its real sound, “pulse code modulation” is used. The same thing is employed in creating compact discs. It is contained in MP3, Windows media audio, wave and many more. These can easily become a ringtone. This can be downloaded from the Internet and mobile phone networks.More and more people are becoming addicted to downloading these tones because the process is a breeze. The tones are segregated by genre, artist, title of song and album. A lot of these tones can be downloaded for free and depending on the features of the phone, the tones length can be edited. If you only want the chorus part you can have it.Personalized StuffDepending on the cell phones capabilities, most has recording feature. You can record the sound of your own voice, your kids singing, and the sweet nothings of your loved ones and set it as your ringtone or even set it as your alarm clock tone.Third Generation Mobile PhonesThe features of mobile p

lover.

Truth in Love

Honesty, they cry

Honesty they cry

But really they mean conformity

they ask for honesty

But condemn anything that doesn’t fit their expectations.

Is that honest?

Our expectations?

Maybe the first honesty is admitting

That everything we know

Is a lie.

Unsecured Unemployed Loan: Surviving When You Have Lost the Security of Job
When a person becomes jobless little does he realize that many other people become jobless with them – namely their family members. You had plans for them and there with one change they have come to a stand still. This is the power unemployment imposes on a person. If you are unemployed you still have an opportunity called loans. When a person is rendered unemployed he is a little wary with placing his possession as security.This is natural and a decision well make keeping in mind the dicey financial situation. If you still haven’t built a home for yourself then it becomes doubly hard for you don’t have a home for support. Unsecured unemployment loans can help surviving both short and long term unemployment. Unemployed homeowners have equal options with unsecured unemployment loans.However, a very competitive loan market has opened flexible terms which transmutes unemployed unsecured loans to fit in the financial status of unemployed.Usually an unemployed is concerned with repayment of loan. Equally concerned is the lender. An unemployed loan lender will of course be looking for loan repayment sources in unsecured loan application. Of course you are not offering security so alternative forms of repayment become more important. For an unemployed the alternative form of repayment will be income support, benefits, or disability living allowance. If you have become unemployed then you are probably entitled to redundancy pay by your employer which will depend how long you have worked in the company. Unemployed will be entitled to one month pay from their company which they owe in terms of notice period. An unemployed should check their contract to see any variations. If you are currently unemployed this can be integral in repayment unsecured loan.Carefully choose the repayment procedure for unemployed unsecured loans Lenders have the facility for both flexible and fixed monthly repayment. Unsecured unemployed loan have facilities like stand-by facility or holiday period or an overdraft. An unemployed can make use of these services when the financial condition sanctions otherwise. Unsecured unemployed loan lenders are quite lenient towards loan repayment and would accept a late repayment without charging penalty.Finding the appropriate unsecured unemployed loan is

y to approach relationship, and a perfect way to prevent vulnerability.

Senior Life Settlements: An Introduction
A Senior Life Settlement means the sale of an insurance policy to a third party at a value less than the face value of the policy. The buyer of the policy is liable to pay all future premiums on the policy, while the original holder of the policy gets a lump sum in cash. This lump sum is an amount that exceeds the cash value of the policy accrued till that date.Senior Life Settlement is opted for by senior people (above the age of 65 years) who do not have any further intention of maintaining their policy premiums. Once they communicate with a life settlement provider regarding their policy settlement, the provider buys the policy from them and collects their premiums in an escrow account. As soon as a buyer is available, the policyholder stops paying the premium and the new buyer continues from that point on. The accumulated amount till that date, along with all applicable interests, is given to the original senior policyholder.People usually take policies in their younger days when they are building homes and expanding their policies. The express purpose of holding a policy is to create security in the unfortunate circumstance of a person’s demise. However, when people reach old age, they no longer have the obligations they had in their younger days. They also may not be able to pay future insurance premiums due to retirement or some other reason. Naturally, it makes sense to settle the policy rather than to allow it lapse. This realization is compelling several senior citizens today to get their policies settled.Elderly people who wish to explore new cost-effective avenues like higher paying policies or care insurance policies may also opt to settle their old policies. Another reason may be an urgent need for funds to start some profitable enterprise.Senior Life Settlements are often confused with viatical settlements. Viatical settlements are provided to terminally ill people, regardless of age. To be qualified for a viatical settlement, the person must have a life expectancy of less than two years from that point on. But Senior Life Settlements are provided to anybody over the age of 65 years. Their life expectancies could be 10 to 15 years, depending on the policy of the company. Senior Life Settlements also require a minimum amount on the face value of the p

appear, as far she was concerned, into nowhere. This made me realise how easy it is to shame someone in the process of helping them learn.

Tampa Real Estate Market: Losing Isn't So Bad
When it comes to pricing a house on is intending to sell in the Tampa real estate market, it is important to consider the present state of the Tampa real estate market—whether it is a seller’s market or a buyer’s market. It does not matter what your former neighbor got six months ago, or what properties are listed for the present. The crucial thing to keep in mind is that the last sale price in the market is probably the sale price now.In looking at the potential gain on the sale of a house, it is imperative to keep it in perspective. If house prices increased year after year at, say, 4 % per year and then suddenly people were selling their houses for 1 % lower than the asking price of the previous year, would that be sensible? If it is, then what about property which is moving up at 20 % per year for several years and then all of a sudden it has to be sold for 5 % lower than the prices of the previous year—would that be reasonable? What really poses the challenge is when percentages are translated into dollar amounts. If the 5 % drop amounts to $5,000, most people would not be shook up. It is the case wherein the 5 % drop translates to $25,000 that commoves sellers.In the Tampa real estate market, astounding rates of appreciation from 2004 to 2005 have been experienced. Many homeowners have undergone a doubling in property values over the last five years. For the current year 2006 however, price appreciation has declined and is now sitting roughly at a mere 5 to 8 % range—quite a dramatic change in comparison to the really high rates enjoyed in the previous period.However, sellers defending their prices as if their lives relied on it are quite common in the Tampa real estate market today. While these people are sitting on hundreds of thousands of dollars of equity, they just could not bear the idea of cutting down selling prices by $25,000 or $50,000 to sell it today. The house that was $260,000 in 1999, is now selling for $569,000 today. But some sellers now want that same type of appreciation and hence could not stand the idea of selling it for less than $589,000. It just seems not fair for them.The more disturbing fact is that there are agents who are defending their prices in a correcting market. These agents are j

In a relationship, things happen that you are not proud of. But everything is worthy of love. So you can come to love for yourself no matter what happened. You need to keep an open heart to your partner if they share truth. That means you may both have some work to do if there is news that comes out unexpectedly. But everything is worthy of love. The Lies

My eyes, can lie, any actor knows this.

My words are constructed, all children perfect it.

My heart is manipulative, loneliness guarantees the compromise.

My hopes are ever changing, because my world is too

My past is irrelevant, although I may carry it as a burden

My Love is my own, I cannot love you more than me

My soul is intangible; any attempt to personalise it is the Ego trying to survive

Who am I even when you know me?

Are you really ever able to know me other than to fit me into a box and say,

"Ah, he's one of them!"

Even if I do fit that box, have you really got to know me, or just a part?

If you really want to get to know me, your Ego needs to die.

Are you ready for that?

Are you ready to dissolve all your judgments

of who you should and shouldn’t be, and all your anger and bitterness from your past?

I challenge you in this book, to try it.

I suspect, that if you are looking for love,

but can’t really open to it, then something from the past is hindering your truth

Lying is the exact same behavior. We think that if we shut up, keep a secret, or put up a story to cover something, we are behind a shield, and can’t get caught. It’s like dressing a pig in an Armani suit and wondering why people are suspicious. Lies deceive the willing, but only on the surface. Deep down, people know. Consciously or unconsciously, they know. And they extract a huge retribution.

A person who is lying arouses suspicion. Now the accusations might be completely off target, but the suspicion is absolutely valid. For example, lets imagine that you take a phone call at the office from your ex and you enjoy a few moments reminiscing about the past, almost flirting, as you both fantasise about some amazingly romantic experience you had. Now, not everyone has a partner who is aware enough to understand that these things are normal. So you get home, and discretion being the better part of valor, you keep it under your chest.

Then your partner says, “What’s wrong?” and you say, “Nothings wrong, why does something always have to be wrong?” and they say, “You just don’t seem yourself tonight” and then you say, “Would you get off my back, don’t you trust me or something?” and then your partner says, “Yes, I mean no, yes, I trust you, but you seem strange”. It starts to escalate and the result is they start to withdraw. So, you lied (or kept a secret) because you feared their reaction, and now they are in reaction, not because of what you did, but because you lied to hide what you did. Like a child you thought that by keeping a secret, putting your words up in front of your face, that people can’t see you, but they can. And more importantly, so can you.

Nobody can lie to you more than you. If you don’t want to know that someone is lying you’ll deny your intuitions. On the other side, you’ll need to know that the intuition is always right in energy, but rarely right in form. Now this can save you a lot of heartache. If you accuse your partner of having an affair, you are expressing your greatest fear, and by the laws of nature you’ll cause it.

The spirit of the inner child

One of the most impactful healing experiences in my entire life was in counseling after my marriage break up where I learned about my inner child, or in another language, my spirit.

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This article describes how to compare and select the best credit cards for college students available in the marketplace.

This article is Part 1 in a series created to explain backing up to novices. We’ll be talking about what backing up is, why we should do it, and why most of us don’t.

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