in our way, storms in the distance, and the other traffic along our way. By using the windshield we are able to keep track of our progress as we move closer to our ultimate destination.

It is important to remember that anytime we are driving, whether a car or our life’s journey, we must continually move our eyes between the two mirrors. This allows us to recall the experiences we have had, the lessons we learned from them, and the voyage before us.

How to get control

If you spend too much time gazing into the rearview mirror it is probably that you have not fully and completely forg

Although it may seem every possible angle has already been explored in the controversy over remarks made by Don Imus about the Rutgers women’s basketball team, one aspect has been overlooked. That issue is how people should move forward from mistakes.

Imus says he has no bitterness toward his employers, MSNBC and CBS Radio, the fact remains they both fired him. One the day before a radiothon and the other in the middle of the same two-day radiothon to raise money for three children’s charity.

It is typical that when people are disciplined by an employer they become resentful and vindictive to the employer and the employer’s representative that levies the discipline – typically their supervisor or someone from human resources. The reaction seems normal, even to those admitting they did something wrong.

Have you ever thought that a teammate took unfair advantage of your generosity by taking a long break or lunch hour? Have you ever felt slighted because a sales prospect was not honest and upfront about a competing bid? Did you ever think you were skipped over for a promotion? Did someone else get a favor that was not available to you? Have you ever been wronged in your career?

According to Northwestern National Life Insurance Company, overly controlling management, conflicts with co-workers, pressure, and too much work are leading causes of strife in the workplace.

As we build our careers we are simply looking for equal opportunity and fairness. Both virtues seem too hard to find and sooner or later we fall into the trap of resentment because we feel slighted.

Our focus

When we feel slighted we are at a key moment in our life. We have two choices from which to choose:

1. We can look in the rearview mirror. The rearview mirror look is a concentration on whatever we feel was the injustice to us. This is the most popular view people take. They spend time thinking about the unfairness, perhaps even contemplating ways to get even. Unfortunately a fixation on the rearview mirror prevents us from a clear view of the future. Eventually we will hit an obstacle that will stop all forward progress.

2. We can look through the windshield. The view through the windshield is one that considers where we are going. It is a look at how we can overcome the setback of the injustice, insult, and hard feelings. The windshield reveals where we are going allowing us to see the obstacles in our way, storms in the distance, and the other traffic along our way. By using the windshield we are able to keep track of our progress as we move closer to our ultimate destination.

It is important to remember that anytime we are driving, whether a car or our life’s journey, we must continually move our eyes between the two mirrors. This allows us to recall the experiences we have had, the lessons we learned from them, and the voyage before us.

How to get control

If you spend too much time gazing into the rearview mirror it is probably that you have not fully and completely forgi

employer and the employer’s representative that levies the discipline – typically their supervisor or someone from human resources. The reaction seems normal, even to those admitting they did something wrong.

Have you ever thought that a teammate took unfair advantage of your generosity by taking a long break or lunch hour? Have you ever felt slighted because a sales prospect was not honest and upfront about a competing bid? Did you ever think you were skipped over for a promotion? Did someone else get a favor that was not available to you? Have you ever been wronged in your career?

According to Northwestern National Life Insurance Company, overly controlling management, conflicts with co-workers, pressure, and too much work are leading causes of strife in the workplace.

As we build our careers we are simply looking for equal opportunity and fairness. Both virtues seem too hard to find and sooner or later we fall into the trap of resentment because we feel slighted.

Our focus

When we feel slighted we are at a key moment in our life. We have two choices from which to choose:

1. We can look in the rearview mirror. The rearview mirror look is a concentration on whatever we feel was the injustice to us. This is the most popular view people take. They spend time thinking about the unfairness, perhaps even contemplating ways to get even. Unfortunately a fixation on the rearview mirror prevents us from a clear view of the future. Eventually we will hit an obstacle that will stop all forward progress.

2. We can look through the windshield. The view through the windshield is one that considers where we are going. It is a look at how we can overcome the setback of the injustice, insult, and hard feelings. The windshield reveals where we are going allowing us to see the obstacles in our way, storms in the distance, and the other traffic along our way. By using the windshield we are able to keep track of our progress as we move closer to our ultimate destination.

It is important to remember that anytime we are driving, whether a car or our life’s journey, we must continually move our eyes between the two mirrors. This allows us to recall the experiences we have had, the lessons we learned from them, and the voyage before us.

How to get control

If you spend too much time gazing into the rearview mirror it is probably that you have not fully and completely forg

orthwestern National Life Insurance Company, overly controlling management, conflicts with co-workers, pressure, and too much work are leading causes of strife in the workplace.

As we build our careers we are simply looking for equal opportunity and fairness. Both virtues seem too hard to find and sooner or later we fall into the trap of resentment because we feel slighted.

Our focus

When we feel slighted we are at a key moment in our life. We have two choices from which to choose:

1. We can look in the rearview mirror. The rearview mirror look is a concentration on whatever we feel was the injustice to us. This is the most popular view people take. They spend time thinking about the unfairness, perhaps even contemplating ways to get even. Unfortunately a fixation on the rearview mirror prevents us from a clear view of the future. Eventually we will hit an obstacle that will stop all forward progress.

2. We can look through the windshield. The view through the windshield is one that considers where we are going. It is a look at how we can overcome the setback of the injustice, insult, and hard feelings. The windshield reveals where we are going allowing us to see the obstacles in our way, storms in the distance, and the other traffic along our way. By using the windshield we are able to keep track of our progress as we move closer to our ultimate destination.

It is important to remember that anytime we are driving, whether a car or our life’s journey, we must continually move our eyes between the two mirrors. This allows us to recall the experiences we have had, the lessons we learned from them, and the voyage before us.

How to get control

If you spend too much time gazing into the rearview mirror it is probably that you have not fully and completely forg

feel was the injustice to us. This is the most popular view people take. They spend time thinking about the unfairness, perhaps even contemplating ways to get even. Unfortunately a fixation on the rearview mirror prevents us from a clear view of the future. Eventually we will hit an obstacle that will stop all forward progress.

2. We can look through the windshield. The view through the windshield is one that considers where we are going. It is a look at how we can overcome the setback of the injustice, insult, and hard feelings. The windshield reveals where we are going allowing us to see the obstacles in our way, storms in the distance, and the other traffic along our way. By using the windshield we are able to keep track of our progress as we move closer to our ultimate destination.

It is important to remember that anytime we are driving, whether a car or our life’s journey, we must continually move our eyes between the two mirrors. This allows us to recall the experiences we have had, the lessons we learned from them, and the voyage before us.

How to get control

If you spend too much time gazing into the rearview mirror it is probably that you have not fully and completely forg

in our way, storms in the distance, and the other traffic along our way. By using the windshield we are able to keep track of our progress as we move closer to our ultimate destination.

It is important to remember that anytime we are driving, whether a car or our life’s journey, we must continually move our eyes between the two mirrors. This allows us to recall the experiences we have had, the lessons we learned from them, and the voyage before us.

How to get control

If you spend too much time gazing into the rearview mirror it is probably that you have not fully and completely forgiven a past transgression. Full forgiveness requires two steps: first is to truly forgive and second is to forget.

According to Coping.org, forgiving is letting another know that there is no grudge, hard feelings, or animosity for any wrongdoing. Forgetting is the lack of further discussion, with no ongoing negative references to the event.

Often the process of forgiving and forgetting a workplace transgression is complicated by the following:

1. Admitting within our heart that we have transgressed. Sometimes it hard for us to admit that we have erred. We cop out by accusing the other person of being too sensitive or of having played favorites to another. Unless we see our transgression we only see the injustice.

2. Blaming falsely. It is easy to blame others. Even if true, blaming others is much less productive than examining our own contribution to the wrong. A better solution is to examine our role inwardly and how we could have played a part in a better outcome.

3. We are simply too hurt. Offenses can be deep cuts with deeper scars. In a way we justify our feelings of bitterness. Yet we cannot begin our own healing until we find the place where we can forgive and forget. It is at this point that we release the bonds of bitterness so that joy can once again enter.

Summary

Only time will tell if Don Imus is bitter about the firings or how he will move forward. Looking in the rearview mirror will create a bitterness that will prevent him from a successful long-term return to radio, television, or public speaking. Looking consistently through the windshield will prevent him from learning the lessons he needs from these recent events. However, if he keeps his eyes moving between the rearview mirror and the windshield, he can learn from the past and use those lessons for a productive and beneficial future from himself and others.

The Don Imus incident is a lesson for us all.